Being that we are only four months into this journey with Paloma I guess i have been lucky to have encountered the wonderful and compassionate Doctors that we have. We did not have to go through the trouble of weeding through pediatricians until we found one that would support our decisions for Paloma. We already had that pediatrician. We weeded for Ava.
I have become spoiled by a Doctor that says Trisomy 21 with out a thought, and a nursing staff that puts up with half a dozen emails a week on new supplements or just mommy worries. This is what i thought was the norm. I thought that the medical professionals got it. I thought that this group of people knew the value of my daughter, that they were aware that she was not a Down's child, but that she was my child. This how ever is not the case. And two weeks ago, i was put in my place by an ENT that simply could not be bothered by a Down's baby...........his term.....needless to say i left in tears, well i didn't leave in tears, because the nursing staff had to calm me down. Once i regained a level of composure, I held by baby tight in my arms and i ran like hell.
On the drive home i believe i called my husband. And i cried. Because i was hurt and angry and felt as if i had been thrown back to square one. This Doctor sat only inches away from me while i held Paloma, and never asked her name, never touched her, and never once considered that his terminology was tearing me apart inside. He blew off my concerns of reflux and sleep apnea and laughed at me wanting to be proactive on ear fluid. He reluctantly agreed to see her every six months...and then as if to almost put salt on the wound, he said, "and mom, thanks for taking such good care of these girls.".........
Needless to say i went home and found a new ENT.
But i was still hurting.
I hurt for days. and i fell into what feels like a sand pit of sorts. You know when you walk in circles around your house all day, dishes don't get done, beds don't get made and then before you know it, husbands are home and you still look like you did when you crawled out of bed at 10:30. I couldn't form sentences or articulate my thoughts, and i just down right felt like i didn't want to do this any more. And by this, i mean just the day to day of being........I think maybe banished would be a good term for it, banished to Holland.
But, the days still went by and before i knew it it was time for the appointment with the new ENT. I contemplated canceling and tried to convince my sister to do it for me...long story, we sound the same on the phone....looking back though i guess the receptionist has no idea what my voice sounds like or cares if i cancel...see, THAT'S banished to Holland reasoning...more on that later.
Well guess what? I went to that appointment. Right from the start Paloma was crying. She was tired and hungry and wanted out of her carrier. I was especially nervous and felt like i had been thrown back in the trenches. It must have been obvious because a tall blond nurse came by and scooped her up and took her back to her office where a handful of other nurses went gaga over my baby girl. The nurse held her and got her to sleep until it was time to see the Doctor.
Let me tell you this Doctor was wonderful. He thanked me for bringing Paloma, he told me of the great things my girl would do. And what a clever mama i was to be on top of the issue of her ears. He told me that t21 is an area of interest for him and that if i didn't mind he would like to take extra care of Paloma and see her every two months. He told me over and over how pretty she was and how proud he was that she was exclusively breast fed. He looked at Ava and he told her she had a good mama, and this time, it was sincer.
I left there feeling like i had found the golden goose....and Holland didn't feel like such a place of banishment.....at least not that day, or for the rest of the week.
So, see what a difference a Doctor makes?