My brother John sent me a blog post the other night...it was written for his gym's blog...it was about the difficulties of cross fit and pulling from your inner unicorn when the work out gets too tough...your inner awesome unicorn...the next day we joked about being unicorns...because that's what brothers and sisters do..they have inside jokes...even brothers and sisters who have only known each other since Easter...still it got me thinking....
Those of you that know me best, know that i am no where near the supper mom that this blog or facebook makes me appear to be..in fact this week i made a pact with myself to stop yelling at Ava because that had become my discipline of choice...yelling..at a six year old...yeah not my best moments..but i have not yelled since that day..have i gone in the bathroom and counted to ten? Yes...have i said slowly with my heart pounding.."Mommy needs a minute before we can talk."..Yes...because i want to be a mommy unicorn...
Those of you that know me best know that i am not the bad ass therapy mom or doctor putter in their placer (is that a word) that this blog or face book makes me appear to be...in fact it's Thursday and Paloma has not been given any new sight words...done any oral motor...worked on steps..done monkey bars..matched colors or done one single puzzle..not sad...but true...but today i created new goals and laid a plan out for the summer...oh and i almost forgot...i haven't had to argue with doctors in quite a while..hopefully those days are over....
And last of all..those of you who know me best, know that i am not as brave as being Paloma's mom has made me out to be..in fact i am the least brave person i know..i struggle daily with anxiety...daily..i need a minor surgery...not brave...i need to drive on freeways..not brave..i need to fly to Hawaii to see my brother renew his vows..not brave...i want desperately to be pregnant again and have a baby....not brave.....but you know what...i want to be a unicorn....i want to make people around me feel my love for life and love for mothering...i want to be someone who can help others be brave...not someone who needs others to be brave for me...i want to be a unicorn...
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