While planning Paloma's birthday, i could have never imagined that it would take me two months, one surgery, and my own birthday to be able to write about her party.
But i just wasn't in a good place.... I wasn't able to shake the feeling of "why her?" "Why us?" And it isn't really like me to be very upset over Down Syndrome. But as time was passing by and Paloma still couldn't eat solids, and still had reflux every day, and still wasn't crawling....it got easier and easier to get very, very upset over Down syndrome.
But that was then.....and times have changed. Baby girl can crawl, as of eight days after surgery to be exact, and she can eat...and feed herself....and do all of the things a big girl of one should be able to do....and mommy can breathe. Because my baby doesn't hurt any more.....so, on to birthdays......hers and mine.
Since the week after Paloma was born, i had been planning her party. I wanted a chance to do it right. I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and organize an evening with friends to celebrate our littlest girl. So we planned a fiesta, and a fiesta it was!
Friends came over early and helped us cut out papel picado banners to string from the trees and in the house....
We put up pictures from the year.....
And of family whom we wished were there.....
And as if Paloma knew how much i needed her close, she refused to be held by anyone but me. Keeping me tight in her little arms and her sweet voice whispering mama........if only i could have known this one year before....
And about our friends........our friends are......amazing. Looking around that night and seeing some of the same faces that where there in that hospital room, and in our home those first weeks, faces that smiled with so much love at my girl, faces that showered her with gifts and listened to me cry.......so much love in one tiny house.
Can you see it there, the love? Husbands doing dishes, new friends meeting old friends........everyone there to celebrate my girl....Love practically bursting out of my kitchen....
Speeches were made and Happy Birthday was sung...and in case you are wondering,....... yes i cried.
I spoke briefly about the year......wishing for more good in the year to come....and about our love for our girl.
I had no idea just how soon i would get my wish........
You are my wish Paloma...
and i think this says it all......
We did it Lady P........
So a fiesta for Paloma and birthday cake on the beach for mama....
beautiful luminous Ava.....
And sisters finding baby crabs in tide pools.....
Two beautiful perfect evenings.......and all is right in the world once more......I love you to the moon and back sweet girls....and i'd do it all again....every single moment.
